I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
