So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
