ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
