Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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