everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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