sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
