This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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