we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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