You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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