If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
