But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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