why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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