I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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