I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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