i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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