Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
