She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
