I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Still dying that you shit outside
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
