I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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