Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
