Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
