Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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