Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
