There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
