She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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