I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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