im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
