I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
