I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I am mentally ready for anal.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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