I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
