The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
