I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
