I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
