whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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