if i can run in heels then i can drive
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
