I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
