i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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