hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
