textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
