If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
