She said her name was "party"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
