wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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