I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
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