Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
