im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
