i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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