Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
