You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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