i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Terrible idea I love it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need water and some morals
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
