My liver just broke up with me...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
