The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
